


Comfort.

by TooAceForThisShit



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Gender Dysphoria, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Loneliness, M/M, Trans Iwaizumi Hajime, Trans Male Character, depressed iwa, sad iwa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-05
Updated: 2019-02-05
Packaged: 2019-10-22 17:55:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17667338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TooAceForThisShit/pseuds/TooAceForThisShit
Summary: Iwaizumi has a shit few months but Tooru's there when he needs him the most.





	Comfort.

**Author's Note:**

> Im sad and lonely aka the perfect time to self project thanku for coming to my tedtalk

With the start of college a lot had changed, in with new out with the old. 

They had lost their last game of high school, as heart wrenching as it had been, Hajime didn't cry. As much as it felt like a demon came and ripped out his heart he hadn't cried… At least not in front of the team. 

He was the ace, and he had failed. 

Lots of things changed suddenly, graduation past with a all too fast, one second he was shaking hands, holding his friends impossibly close, kissing Oikawa in front of everyone without a thought of all the people around, and the next it was summer. 

Too hot to do anything, worries of college. Oikawa taking him on dates to the beach, Mattsun and Maki “tagging along” sometimes. 

Soon enough he's being dropped off in a dorm with a roommate he couldn't care less for, and he was alone. So alone. 

The classes were fine, the homework was tough but good. The late night calls with a sleepy Oikawa, himself even sleepier. The promises of visits, the plans falling through, him sinking slowly. 

Hajime was strong, he couldn't- wouldn't fall apart just because he felt empty, lonely. He missed Oikawa so much, it brought him physical pain.

Fall came and went, it was late November before he thought of calling Oikawa to tell him how he was feeling, he wanted to he wanted someone to understand, to tell him everything was going to be alright. 

Early December never felt so cold, he didn't leave the dorm much, only for classes. Tooru didn't pick up as much, texts were still frequent but growing further apart. 

December 8th he got a text. 

Tooru💕: iwa-chan u dummy come pick up ur bf from the airport, frankly its rude ure not here already

His heart feels like it will stutter to a stop and moment, there was no plan of him coming to visit. He clenched his phone tightly in his hand, letting out a breathe he didn't know he was holding in he feels his knees drop to the floor. 

Relief washes over him instantly, waves after wave he feels as if he'd get dragged under. 

His phone buzzes in his palm once more alerting him to another text, he fumbles with his phone nearly dropping it twice, his hands tumble as he unlocks it. 

Tooru💕: nvm u took too long getting a taxi,,see u in a bit love u bunches 💞💕😚

He fights the lump in his throat, his hands are shaking too much to reply. Stumbling to his feet he starts to half as clean, there's clothes littered everywhere, a few stray beer cans on his roommates side, too many empty food containers. 

He manages to stuff all his clothes in his hamper, the knock on the door feels like a death sentences and a blessing all at once. 

“Hajime?” a few more soft knocks following. 

Butterflies arupt in his stomach. 

He thankfully doesn't trip over his feet on the way to the door, he does trip on a stray sweater, hitting the ground with a thump, all the air rushing out of him, a coughing fit following. 

“Hajime? Is that you?”

He gives a meek yes. 

“Let me in.”

He scrambles to his feet all but gracefully, “okay, okay.” he mutters, pulling the door open, his breath hitches. 

Glasses perched on his nose, Oikawa stares me down, he pushes his way in dropping his bag, to the floor before he's being held in a tight embrace. 

It takes him a second to return overwhelmed with the scent of his shampoo that it is just so Tooru, he has to fight back tears. His hands make fists in his shirt face hidden in his neck, he takes a deep breath.

Tooru letting out a huff of giggles, “Did you really trip?”

He sighs, choosing not to reply...he just needs a moment. A lot of moments. 

“As much as I missed you, Iwa-chan you really need to shower.” Tooru releases him he tries to ignore the noise it rips from his throat. 

Tooru smiles softly, worry in his eyes. The feeling sinks, maybe he wasn't as secretive as he thought. 

“Go shower, I'll be right here when you get back,” he kisses him lightly on the cheek sending him away with a wink and a peace sign, his heart aches. 

As the shower warms he watches as the mirror fogs, waits until it completely fogs over before he begins to undress. Binder off last, taking his first deep breath of the day, he knows he shouldn't wear it as much as he does but he can't bring himself to take it off when he gets back from classes, alone with his thoughts, the skin rubbing against skin. 

He shakes himself out of it, getting under the hot spray, his mind blanks only focusing on the way the water drags down his body. 

Only remembering to start washing when there's a knock at the door followed by a creak of the hindches. 

“Heyo, here are some clean clothes, no binder mister. Or I'll cry, you don't want me to cry for the first time we've seen each other in months do you? Jk I'll probably cry anyway, just no binder I'm gonna cuddle the fuck out of you.” Tooru rambles, not stopping when the door closes behind him and just sounds like far off mumbles. 

He rolls his eyes finishing washing up, he dresses quickly not making eye contact with his reflection. The clothes are obviously Tooru's the sleeves of the sweater a little long, and the sweats a little tight around thigh area. 

He opens the bathroom door to the rest of the dorm- now tidy. Oikawa spread out on the bed, phone in hand lazyly scrolling through whatever social media. 

He must of made a noise because Tooru looks up, “it was dirty, you know how much I hate untidy room.”

He almost scoffs, Tooru being the least tidy person he knows. 

Tooru opens his arms, presenting a nerdy shirt with a ufo on it that Hajime briefly remembers buying for him. 

“Well, c'mere. I need all the Hajime time I missed out on.”

He pretends to drag his feet, and he swears he tries to keep the smile off his face but before he knows it he's back in Tooru's arms making him let out a huff when he hits his chest. 

Tooru's settles around him let his hasn't been months. 

He fights the tears threatening to shed, he just missed him so much. One of Tooru's hand shifts to play with his slightly damp hair. 

“You really need to learn how to dry your hair better, especially if you're gonna let it continue to grow like this,” putting emphasis on his point with a tug to his hair. 

He grumbles into his neck. Tooru rolls them over onto their sides, arms still around each other just enough room to stare into eachothers eyes. Brown eyes twinkling from the lights, Tooru smiles again, and he feels like home. 

“You okay, babe?” his hand comes to rest on his cheekbone rubbing under his eye softly, his hands still rough even with the amount of hand cream he applies. 

He can't look him in the eye and tell him he's been the worst he's ever felt and this is the first time in months he's felt even remotely like himself. 

He squeezes his eyes shut, pulling Tooru close, he keeps his head tucked under his chin, breathes coming out in short gasps. He holds him as tightly as be can as he feels warm tears leak down his face. 

“Oh, Hajime.” his voice is barely above a whisper, it doesn't stop there his voice calm as he whispers reasurments, every term of endearment tumbling from his lips.

Sobs rack his body, clawing out of him, his throat aching, his nose running. 

He's breaking but at least he has someone to hold him together. 

When it calms to a soft tremble and hiccups, Tooru shifts hands on his shoulders, he grips him tighter. “Don't.” 

He can't be seen like this, sure he's cried in front of him before--but this is different, he… he broke and he's still in pieces laying about the floor, a mess. A mess too big to be picked up in one afternoon when Tooru gets a orge to clean. 

Everything hurts still and he can't show his face, even to the boy he's known for over ten years. 

“I love you.” is pressed into his forehead with a kiss, and he thinks maybe one day all it will take is one afternoon with Tooru.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, i hope you enjoyed. Comments and kudos are appreciated. I missed these boys sm, i wanna write more for them but its currently 3AM so i should sleep first.
> 
> I was half asleep well writing this so hopefully there aint too many typos
> 
> Until next time-TooAceForThisShit.


End file.
